What makes you feel better when you miss your flight to Poland?

Celebrity Gossip.

And what's better than more freakishly fake news about TomKat.
Here's the most recent pics of Katie and her fake bump.



The only way that these pictures could have any semblance of any truth whatsoever would be if Katie were carrying a litter of 14 babies ... Or a basketball.



I mean seriously ... she's kidding right? If Scientology sperm is really that potent than we are in for some serious trubs.

Unless of course I'm just being mean, and maybe whatever is in there is just really ready to come out. But Mission: Impossible: III opens on May 5th ... so I wouldn't be surprised if Katie doesn't spill her spawn until thereabouts.



Tom Cruise has reportedly bought an adult-sized pacifier for fiancee Katie Holmes - to keep her silent during childbirth. As devout followers of Scientology the beautiful actress and her husband-to-be have to maintain a vigil of total silence in the delivery suite.Tom hopes the large pacifier will help Katie to stay calm.

A source is quoted in America's Star magazine as saying: "He commissioned an adult-sized 'binky' for Katie to clench between her teeth, hoping that it'll squelch her screams.
"In keeping with a Scientology silent birth, Tom is prepared to do whatever it takes to muffle Katie's moans and groans during the delivery."

Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, in his book 'Dianetics', also discourages painkillers being used during the delivery and maintains that childbirth should be silent to "save both the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go."

So apparently cult-religions are still gobbling up more followers in hollywood...

It's no secret that Lindsay Lohan has hopped on the celebrity bandwagon that is Kabbalah. Once the domain of devoted scholars and religious leaders, the ancient form Jewish mysticism has now been coopted by the likes of Madonna, Britney Spears, and yes, Lindsay Lohan. "Yes, I am looking into Kabbalah," confirmed Lohan. "All of us need something. You just have to grab on to whatever gets you through. Maybe it's this business, but it seems everything can be tough, so hard."

At least it's not Scientology. What is it with these crazy celebrities? If it's not drugs, alcohol, or sex tapes, it's the latest religious craze. Regardless, just because you put on a red string bracelet, doesn't mean your an instant philospher. In fact, the red bracelet has nothing to do with Kabbalah. I'm not going to get into a whole treatise on religion and mysticism here, but let's jsut say whatever it is those celebrities think they're studying (or smoking), it's not Kabbalah. Lindsay, why don't you get a hobby, or a new eating disorder, but seek salvation elsewhere, okay?