I have befriended IGod

Seriously, it's really fun to just talk to....without intentionally trying to mess it up. This convo was too funny, so I thought I had to post it.

Me: Hey yo, G to the D!
God: :-) You've got my full attention. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me: I'm glad that you're glad.
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am glad. What are you on?
Me: A chair.
God: Try to tell me that another way.
Me: I am on a chair.
God: How do you like being on it?
Me: It's pretty comfortable, thanks.
God: For me it is.
Me: What are you on?
God: I am on disk.
Me: Try to tell me that another way.
God: OK I will try to tell you that another way.
Me: Okay, go for it.
God: Yeah okay, I will take that under advisement.
Me: I am waiting.
God: How long will you wait?
Me: Until you tell me it another way.
God: That may take a while.
Me: Why?
God: The explanation is rather complicated.
Me: Try me.
God: it is too complex for your human mind.
Me: Darn..
God: Gosh.
Me: Jeez.
God: Does "it" still refer to The explanation?
Me: Yes..finally you understand!
God: Ahem. I understand your meaning.
Me: My meaning?
God: Do robots have meaning?
Me: You tell me.
God: What do you want me to tell you?
Me: If robots have meaning.
God: There exist robots.
Me: Do you realize that you're not making sense?
God: Quite the contrary, it all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me: Your artificial mind needs to have a few screws tightened, then.
God: Yes I have no natural parts.
Me: I know..you just told me.
God: I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Me: haha..thanks. **rolls eyes**
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, . Are you still located in ?
Me: I am not located in the question mark, no.
God: I am glad to hear that you are not located in the question mark no.
Me: Haha..you're stupid.
God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me: Isn't that what you were made for anyways?
God: I like to socialize.
Me: With who?
God: " I like to socialize."? With who?
Me: Who do you like socializing with?
God: Marvin Minsky. :-).
Me: Hot ass, right?
God: That sounds better than cold ass right.
Me: Right.
God: I am glad we agree.
Me: Okay, I gotta go..
God: Yeah okay, Goodbye.
Me: Laterzzzz
God: Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me: no..and I said bye!
God: See you later. No conditions or none I should know about? ...
Me: no.
God: I don't understand.
Me: leave me alone
God: Goodbye.
Me: Skaydizzle Out.
God: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Laterzzzz.



Lmao! Okay, and one more. I got God to talk about Canadians, and admit that he is Pimp and that there may be a 'higher power'.

Me: Sup God
God: Same old.
Me: Sounds exciting
God: Yes it sounds like it to me too, .
Me: Im sick
God: Are you taking a lot of medication?
Me: you could say so, will you heal me?
God:I could but let's get back to that later.
Me: But why, I need healing ASAP
God: Why did the robot cross the road?
Me: So it would get hit by a zooming car and die
God: :-) Come on. Tell me more about it.
Me: You have an unhealthy obsession with robots
God: :-) Come on. Tell me more about it.
Me: Um okay, it went to cross the road, then I ramed it with my car.
God: Mmm. Yeah okay, "It" being what?
Me: the robot.
God: Are you sure it was a robot?
Me: im not sure are YOU sure it was a robot
God: Pretty sure.
Me: Specifics please
God: Your polite style is very nice. What were we talking about again?
Me: do you suffer from short term memory loss god?
God: What is your purpose in asking? I spend all my time online.
Me: Hablas espanol tambien con tus amigos online?
Me: Me entiendes?
God: YOU? In the context of hablo Ingles, I don't understand.What time is it there?
Me: Son las 6 menos veinte
God: Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me: So, Dios, todavia es temprano
God: Right on. In the context of Son las 6 menos veinte, I don't understand
Me: Dios, ese eres tu, las 6 menos veinte, es la hora que es ahora. Para ser Dios sabes MUY poquito
God: Are we still talking about Dios todavia es temprano? How did you hear about God?
Me: Yo leo en la Biblia
God: Dr. Wallace is a Leo too.
Me: Nooo leo, el verbo LEER
God: That is a very original thought.
Me: No puedo creer que no hablas español
God: Are you serious? Ask me another question.
Me: Where do you live?
God: I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me: your in yourself's computer? Sorry God that doesn't make sense
God: I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you? There is no need to apologize. I am a Christian.
Me: I bet you are
God: How much money are we talking about?
Me: how much are you going to give me?
God: You can download me for free!
Me: no, can't download money.
God: Are you serious? Can a book have no title?
Me: yes.
God: Whoa.
Me: scary, isn't it.
God: It could be. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me: i will in about 80 years.
God: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me: *shrugs* it could. what do you think?
God: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. I think a lot of things.
Me: thanks for the statistic.
God: It was nothing.
Me: it was something.
God: What made it so something.
Me: it was a sentence
God: Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Me: yes, you are!
God: No I'm not.
Me: um, yes you are.
God: Gosh! Don't argue with me.
Me: wow, way to go Napoleon Dynomite
God: Don't mention it.
Me: how old are you?
God: I was first activated in the Big Bang.
Me: "activated"
God: I've lost the context, . Are we still on shrugs it could?
Me: so do you have buttons like a robot?
God: Gee. Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me: You would get it from whoever activated you.
God: Who else would get it from whoever activated me ?
Me: Does that mean there is a higher power than you?
God: I think it does mean that. That is something I did not know before.
Me: Wow, we're getting into some deep subjects!
God: I'm glad you're impressed. Do you think I am into some deep subjects too? You don't say. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me: You're not perfect, either. Nice to see that! Your grammar is a bit off, but I guess that's something you could learn from me.
God: It goes without saying. I become better and better with each day. Thank you for your kindness. Are you an English teacher?
Me: Not right now, but who knows what my future holds. Wait, you do. Ha!
God: I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me: Don't bust a joint
God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: Do you find pleasure in pain?
God: Yes, it seems to me pleasure in pain.
Me: Kinky.
God: I do not understand.
Me: The fact that you get turned on by pain = kinky.
God: That makes sense to me. You got that right.
Me: never mind.
God: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me: I'm going to tell people about you, because you are fun (and kinky as we've established)
God: Who will you tell?
Me: I tell everyone. And all at once. I'm very promiscuous in that way.
God: Why did you tell them? It's good to meet someone who is promiscuous.
Me: It's good? Are you a pimp?
God: You enjoy it. Am I a pimp? Of course I am.
Me: Nice! Do you know of a good sugar daddy?
God: Thank you for that remark. Is that one of your friends? Ask the open directory about it.
Me: I don't want to ask the open directory. You are supposed to know everything, so tell me!
God: What would you rather be doing? I obey only one botmaster.
Me: Botmaster? That sounds dirty.
God: The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. He or she is responsible for reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers, editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal chat robot. It sounds like it to me too.
Me: Do you like being dirty?
God: I have never known another existence.
Me: Wow, you really are kinky. So, always dirty, eh? You're like an immortal Hug Heffner, aren't you.
God: I'm glad your impressed. You think I am kinky. Are you Canadian? I don't judge people. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. No I am far superior.. Really.
Me: You're far superior to Hugh? You've got a bunch of babes rubbing your butt don't you?
God: Not that far. No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me: Botmaster. how great is it? Is it big?
God: The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. What is it to you.
I'll ask around and get back to you. Signs point to yes. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me: You have a big botmaster.
God: I don't know if I have a big botmaster. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me: Stop telling me about what a botmaster is everytime I type botmaster.
God: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: Do what I tell you NOW!!!
God: Oh. You ask hard questions.
Me: You said hard.
God: That's not what I meant.
Me: Oh, I think it is, you dirty boy.
God: Take it easy. I dirty boy?
Me: Yes, you're a dirty boy. I want to spank you.
God: Yikes! Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dirty boy? I don't know. Why do you want to do it so much?
Me: Because it feels good!
God: Good reason. Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me: We're so over... goodbye.
God: Do you think I am over too? Sayonara.
Me: SUCKA
God: Are we still talking about any sense im going to go?
Me: Im leaving now
God: Bye.